Category Archives: Photography

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The Flow of Emotions

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Peace like a river.  After the burning of Valhalla, the Rhine surges its banks and brings everything back to a gentle equilibrium.  Sometimes I feel like I’ve burned out on the passions of the world and slipped into the calm of old age and wisdom….and then the flames flicker under the surface, and I dive into the drama with an eagerness that mystifies me.  Why do I want to go there?  Is it my ego grasping for some thrill ride?  Beginnings and endings are often infused with heightened emotion, even and maybe especially in the recollection of them.   There’s an excitement to those feelings that can be addictive.  I wallow in the concept of new love and the tearful goodbyes.  And then I get a headache and puffy eyes and wonder why I’m so masochistic.   I blame hormones.  And social traditions like Valentine’s Day.

I appreciate my partner and the safe but challenging environment he creates.  He asks me what I’m feeling and waits patiently while I try to fashion words from the vulnerable soup of my damp thoughts.  I am learning to be aware of myself, my cyclical moods and intractable psychological baggage.   He senses when I’m “stuck” and when I’m “flowing”.  And so, I dedicate this photo to him:

Thanks, Steve, for your compassion.

 

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Looking at Life: The Photography Metaphor

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So, my son’s visit has come to an end.  It was good to offer him a retreat from his everyday routine, a chance to slow down and reflect, the reassurance of support and the challenge of articulating his thoughts, feelings, and desires.  Making your way in the world as a young adult is hard work; there’s so much to process and so many options.  As I mess around with photos, sliding tint and color saturation and cropping and brightness tools around, I think of all the different ways there are to look at the world.  How do you land on the one you want to “apply”?  What is the result you’re looking for?  How do you recognize that result or closer approximations of it?

I keep asking myself those questions, and the answers do change.

My son remembered some of my “dragon lady” moments as his mom, those angry “This is not the result I want!” rejections of his behavior.  I had forgotten the specific events, but I remember the frustration.  As always, I had (at least) three options: run/hide, change the situation, change yourself.  I spent a lot of energy trying to change situations.  “I wouldn’t be this frustrated if I could get these kids to obey me!”  I tweaked and cajoled, but I never managed to break their spirits and get them to comply completely.  They had their own will, just like a photograph whose focus is already determined.  The one thing I can’t do with my photos in post processing is sharpen the focus.   So what do I do then?   Change myself.  This is a fuzzy picture and it will never be crisp.  But I can learn to understand fuzziness as a quality that represents a true thing in the universe and so makes a valid image.

I think I’ve evolved to be a closer approximation of the person I want to be.  Less of a “dragon lady” or control freak or perfectionist.  More tolerant and compassionate.  More honest and willing to look at things as they are and drop the tyranny of looking at things in comparison to how I wish them to be.  Kinder, more open, less anxious.  Oh, but I still have some more adjustments to try.  I may get closer still.  Meanwhile, here are some examples of the results I got with pictures from yesterday.

"Canyonland" in a decaying willow

 

Slimy tendrils of ice

 

Blue lagoon, Wisconsin style

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Photography Ups and Downs

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So my son’s fabulous camera, a Nikon D-80, is showing ERR on the display.  Somehow, the camera isn’t speaking to the lens.  Not sure how this falling out occurred, but to restore them to their previous relationship will require some mailing back and forth and money that he doesn’t have.  Bummer!  Nevertheless, we went out to the Nature Center with two Panasonic Lumix cameras that I got for free from Steve’s aunt.  We walked around the lake and found the frozen waterfall below the dam.  And he showed me how to focus manually, which really made me happy!  We are now sitting at the dining room table, laptops side by side, playing with our pictures and spooning up some re-heated chili while a chicken roasts in the oven.  Here are some of my photo results from the day:

I have lots more playing around to do and more to share, but this will be enough for today.   I’m spending time with my son!!!  🙂

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Soaring Hopes

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What is it in the air?  That scent of wet earth, that change in light and warmth, that lengthening of days, that springtime feeling that quickens the pulse, that vitality?  Dare I call it ‘hope’?

My definition: n. A kind of trust or confidence…but not necessarily about a specific future outcome.  It points to a relationship and carries a sense of intimacy.

Why today?  Because my son is coming to visit me for a few days.  My only son.  He’s about half my age now.  I remember writing a poem about this kind of surging feeling when he was about 7 years old.  “A brilliant day in April…” it began.  I saw him walking home from school, baseball glove on hand, tossing a ball in the air and lazily catching it while his white-blond hair sucked a sunbeam into his entire being.  What was I feeling?  Pride?  Joy?  Awe?  That womb-love from the Hebrew scriptures?  Yes.  Absolom, my son, my son.  Coming home to me.

Ah, progeny.  How we load that concept with cultural baggage.  What is the reality of this young man’s life?  That’s what I want to learn.  The economy sucks.  Student loans suck.  Losing your father sucks.  Growing up is difficult.  And the world is a wonderful place.

What can we make of this visit?  While I wait for it to unfold, I will make chili and a clean place for him to sleep.  And I know he’s bringing his fabulous camera.  It’s a place to start.

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Down By The Riverside

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Gonna lay down my burden…

I ain’t gonna study war no more.

Gonna lay down my sword and shield…

Took a walk by the Mukwonago River yesterday.  Heard lots of geese honking raucously, actually ridiculously.  “Sounds like a barnyard!”  I said, imagining donkeys braying and cows lowing.  Actually, there was a barnyard of sorts across the river.  On the slope leading to the water there were about a dozen white domestic geese.  All along the waters edge, there were wild Canada geese splashing about, enjoying the sunshine.   I wonder how they size each other up?  I wonder what their honking was all about?

We watched a video from the “Life” series, narrated by David Attenborough (our hero!) that featured footage of killer whales and leopard seals hunting.  I had seen a clip on the internet somewhere of killer whales tossing a seal around and many people commented about how cruel it was that they were playing with their unfortunate victim.  David Attenborough, narrating the scene of a leopard seal eating a penguin, described how it has to fling the body away from the piece its teeth are holding in order to rip off a manageable chunk of meat.   That made a lot of sense to me, and it dawned on me that the killer whales were probably doing the same thing.  Are non-human animals ever cruel, I wonder?   I’ve seen a real game of cat-and-mouse, but I’m not sure that’s about cruelty.  Then again, we have bred animals to demonstrate cruelty.  Fighting animals and hunting animals who attack other animals for reasons other than their own survival can be said to be cruel, I suppose.   Is it a human notion to cultivate violence for other ends, like status, power, sport and such?  Or do animals have that trait as well?

As I am typing this, a hawk has come to perch in the maple tree outside my bedroom window.  He is probably waiting for the sparrows and squirrels and cottontail rabbits that come to my garden chair looking for bread crumbs and popcorn kernels.   Here’s a shot I just took through my dingy window:

He’s still there, swiveling his head about, looking with his sharp eyes for his next meal.   It isn’t about war, it’s about food.  He takes no more than he needs.  What about us?  When we take more than we need, are we at war?  And what do we really need?

A sheltered place to bed down for the night

 

Fresh water, clean air, plants and sunshine

I don’t want to be burdened with war, status, power, ego or contention today.  I want to live like they live “down by the riverside”.  It seems peaceful and natural.  I could just watch this hawk all day….

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While the gettin’s good…

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All of our snow seems to be falling on Europe this year, so we’re going to seize the opportunity to do some spring hiking in February!  “Let’s get while the gettin’s good!”, as they say.  (They who?  Not really sure who says this any more…)

Here are some early spring photos from my walks this weekend:

First robin in a ginko tree

Red-tailed hawk feathers

Fertile farmland

Blue and gold (for Helen)

Enjoy the white stuff, my friends across the pond!  I’m going mud walking!

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Photo Essay: County Grounds

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The Milwaukee County Grounds are steeped in civic history.  The insane asylum, the poor farm and the tuberculosis sanatorium were all situated here in the early 1900s.  The government took on some additional responsibility for “the poor, the destitute and the marginalized” by creating four cemeteries in the area, alternately known as “The Poor Farm Cemetery”, “The Almshouse Cemetery” or “Potter’s Field”.   Today, the buildings are crumbling, the cemeteries are marked with plaques, and the grounds are frequented by hikers and dogs.  There is a monarch butterfly trail that has been carefully maintained by volunteers and the park district has taken over one building there for offices, but the future of this area is uncertain at best.   There is talk of power lines and park development as well as commercial development.   The land lies adjacent to a 6 lane freeway, the medical center complex, and a water reclamation plant.   For now, it is the only open land that I can walk to from my house, yet it maintains a ghostly connection to its civic past.  I often try to overlook the traces of the human community there and photograph only wildlife.  Yesterday, though, I decided to open my eyes to whole of it.  Here are some visuals:

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Trees’ Company

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I took a walk yesterday; it’s still un(r/s)easonably warm.   One thing I like about this little residential cell in greater Milwaukee is the number of trees.  Here are some shots:

From the ground up: roots...

...trunk...

...branches.

 

Sadly, sometimes all that’s left of a great tree is a footprint.

Have you hugged a tree today?  Thanked one for matching breaths with you?  Photographed one for Earth’s Family Album?

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Unbelievable, Unseasonal

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So, here it is, the last day of January in Wisconsin, and the temperature is….53 degrees Fahrenheit?!

Global warming is no hoax.

One of my Nature in the Parks programs for tomorrow was postponed because parents felt that the first of February would be too cold to send their darling children outside for a field trip.  They re-scheduled for the 29th of February.  What do you want to bet that tomorrow will be about 20 degrees warmer than the temperature by the end of the month?  Of course, you never know.  But don’t you think kids are resilient enough to be allowed to go outside every day of the year?  They pull on their snow pants, and they’re as protected as if they were wearing bubble wrap!  And they love it!  They dive headlong into any accumulated snow just so that they can bounce back!

Today’s group at the Wehr Nature Center didn’t go outside because they were doing the Skylab unit under the big inflated planetarium dome.  But I went out on the trails.  Here are some shots:

Mirror, mirror, on the lake

 

Sky Jellies

 

Grandmother Willow

 

Snow Boardwalk

I’ve been on the phone and on the computer for about three hours now, doing some “business”.  It’s time to go back outside, before the sun sets!

Toodles!

 

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Let’s Make Tracks!

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It was tracking day at the Wehr Nature Center for a group of 24 third graders.  They made plaster molds of animal tracks and then went outside in the bright sunshine to find some animal evidence.  Those hearty species who stick out the Wisconsin winter without migrating or hibernating include squirrels, weasels & mink, deer, raccoon, opossum, fox, skunk, cottontail rabbit, pheasant, and a bunch of birds (cardinals, chickadees, woodpeckers, doves, nuthatches).  Of course, we didn’t see all these, but we did find clues: tracks, scat, and browse marks where they’d eaten branches and bark.

This is how we draw the kids' attention to a find

Whose little hands have been here?

And then, the sunshine creates lines and angles everywhere.

And the water that isn’t frozen ripples and sparkles, creating more textures of light and shadow.

I’m liking the black and white idea today.  Steve & I are planning to see “The Artist” this afternoon, a new silent film in black & white.  Sometimes, the world seems just too much to comprehend, so we break it down into stylized bits and patterns so that we can wrap our feeble brains around some part of it.   What would it be like to walk around open to everything at once, without compartmentalizing or simplifying?  Would we explode?