Category Archives: Family

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Lens-Artists Photo Challenge: Saudade (Longing)

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We met in High School. He was 17; I was 15. He was my first love and the love of my life. All of the songs about first love come to mind: the awakening, the thrill, the thought that no one could ever have felt this powerfully in love before…and yet, of course, so many have. The absolute certainty that this is THE ONE!! We were so young, so hormonal, so smitten, so carefree.

photo by my brother, Dave

I was 21 when we married. I was 22 when we had our first child…28 when we had our fourth and last.

It was only a few months after I took this photo that my husband had his first heart surgery. He was 31. I am so grateful that we had more time to raise our family, to grow up together, to become strong and passionate and faithful.

We got 16 more years. When he died, he was 47 and I was 45.

And now, I’ve been without him for more than 17 years. Those are the numbers, the chronology. But ‘saudade’ is about the feeling. It is about the tapestry of visual memories, of the sound of his glorious tenor voice in song, of feelings I cannot imagine ever having again, of the trust I gave him and the identity I built around him. All of these things I miss. I will feel forever nostalgic, forever bereft, and forever grateful for knowing him. I long for my husband with all that I am, physically, mentally, spiritually. And he is out of reach, yet somehow always accessible inside. Perhaps this is what this foreign word translates to in my own life.

I thank Egidio for introducing me to this word and for the opportunity to introduce Jim to all of you. May you enjoy your longing as something that helps you know that you love.

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Lens-Artists Photo Challenge: Personal Favorites, Portraits, and Life Changes

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The portrait above is one of my favorites, taken while I was doing the photoshoot for my son’s wedding. These are my daughters, hamming it up for a selfie. My oldest, on the right, turned 40 years old in January. That’s a life change, for me as well as for her.

Photo credit: Richard O’Dell

It has been a busy month, Reader, and I have not participated in the last few LA Challenges. I’m attempting to make up for that now. What have I been up to? Thanks for asking! I was onstage for six performances of the play Amadeus with my youngest child in the title role. I am immensely proud of my local community theater for the vision, excellence, and creativity that went into this production. My kiddo’s spouse was also in the production, so it was quite a personally significant experience – an opportunity to work and play with them and their best friends. The respect, the trust, and the love that we built in this process will stay with me forever. I do believe that it has changed our lives.

Life has changed a lot in the last 40 years. I still take photographs, and my family is still my favorite thing about life.

I’m still in awe of the beauty of the world every day.

And the intersection of personal favorites, portraits, and life’s changes is still personified in this photo I took of my late husband in 1980. Our kiddo dedicated their performance to him, and we miss him very much. He would have been so proud of us, so full of laughter and appreciation. And always, full of love.

Thanks to Tina for this week’s Challenge, and a shout out to Ritva (Portraits) and Anne (Life’s Changes) as well.

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Lens-Artist Photo Challenge: Only One Picture

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“This week it is my turn to present a challenge – and I mean to give us all a real ‘test’. I tend to use several pictures in my posts, and some of us often do – so the challenge is to use only ONE picture. One that you find important, meaningful to you, maybe sending a message – and then explain why you picked just that picture. It is not meant to be a ‘favorite’ picture of yours…” ~ Ann-Christine of the blog “Leya”

What an inspired challenge! I love that this plays right into the wheelhouse of making meaning, not just making images, and that is a place where my mental gears can turn all day long. Especially in a time of confusion, worry, chaos, and sorrow. What a great question to ask repeatedly: “What is important and meaningful now?”

As one who is instinctively visually inspired, I knew that if I scrolled through my media library, one photo would jump out at me. In this case, quite literally.

This is a favorite photo, in fact, because it means so much to me, personally. For the moment, though, I’m imagining I don’t know the specific story, and I’m taking a first look. I think this is an emotion-packed scene. The brooding clouds; the flat, gray shore; the piercing light; the reflection in the puddled foreground; and the exuberant kicking up of the silhouetted figure’s heels. It suggests defiance, courage, enthusiasm (being filled with the Source of Life, which some call God – theos in Greek), hope. The fact that the action is reflected provides even more momentum. These powerful feelings continue and have unimagined after effects. I want to shout “Yes!” when I see it, feel a bracing ocean breeze in my face and a surge of energy. I want to be part of the revolution or revelation that inspired this scene.

The backstory: I traveled to the Oregon coast to visit my adult children in October of 2019. I was considering moving from Wisconsin to the west coast to be closer to them and my family of origin in California. The cross-country move would mean a lot of change, a lot of loss, an unknown step into a new adventure – everything that being alive requires. Playing on the beach with my 30-year old daughter was a timeless and time-filled joy. She has always been physically expressive and unpredictable, laughing and cavorting at any moment. And she has been through the hardest struggles imaginable; the list would astonish you. I hold her entire history in my memory and see her, here, triumphant.

Yes, I moved thousands of miles to be with her and her siblings. I moved during the COVID pandemic when isolation, confusion, and fear effected every decision and every moment. Being on the west coast meant that I was with my mother for her two months in hospice and her death. It means that I have a chance to build a closer relationship with my siblings and my kids. It means that I can be engaged in supporting those I love through hard times and celebrations. It means that I have a lived experience of making another big life change and following it through. Each time I do that, I feel more confident, more hopeful in my ability to continue to do hard things. When I face those challenges and celebrate the outcome, the ripples travel to distant shores I can only imagine.

I share this photo with you with the hope that you will recognize inspiration, courage, and joy in your lived moments.


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Lens-Artists Photo Challenge: Circular Wonders

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“From the day we arrive on the planet
And, blinking, step into the sun

There’s more to see than can ever be seen
More to do than can ever be done
There’s far too much to take in here
More to find than can ever be found

But the sun rolling high
Through the sapphire sky

Keeps great and small on the endless round

It’s the circle of life
And it moves us all
Through despair and hope
Through faith and love
‘Til we find our place
On the path unwinding
In the circle
The circle of life.” – Carmen Twillie and Lebo M

I spent the last 10 days circling back to Wisconsin to care for my eldest adult child after surgery. Enfolding her in my arms, comforting her, and kissing her good-night brought my heart and soul to a place of simple purpose and wonder-filled peace. In the circle of life, caring for each other, loving wholeheartedly, is the wheel that keeps us moving forward, generation by generation. I guess I still believe that Love makes the world go ’round.

Thank you, Ann-Christine, for a round world of beautiful images on your challenge! See it HERE.

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Lens-Artists Photo Challenge: Time

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Time in a Bottle
– Jim Croce

If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that I’d like to do
Is to save every day ’til eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you

If I could make days last forever
If words could make wishes come true
I’d save every day like a treasure, and then
Again, I would spend them with you

If I had a box just for wishes
And dreams that had never come true
The box would be empty
Except for the memory of how they were answered by you

But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do once you find them

I’ve looked around enough to know
That you’re the one I want to go through time with

Donna’s post reminded me of the long weekend my late husband and I spent at the Grand Hotel on Mackinac Island. The movie Somewhere in Time was filmed there, an extremely sentimental and romantic love story involving time travel and starring Christopher Reeve and Jane Seymour. All of those associations with time reminded me of Jim Croce’s song, which was the love song my sister and her boyfriend cherished before she was killed in a car accident at the age of 20. In my mind, the best use of time we’ll ever learn “is just to love and be loved in return”, as Nat King Cole sang.

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Lens-Artists Photo Challenge: Kitchen Inspiration

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My mug shot:

Our guest host for this week has come up with a brilliant theme: Inspiration from the Kitchen. Her blog post shows an incredible artistry with this subject and technically stunning photographs. Do visit!

The subject of kitchens, of food and hearth, the center of a home, strikes a very emotional place for many of us, I suspect. Looking at the rich textures and sumptuous opulence of some of the photos I’ve seen so far, I began to feel rather sad, perhaps…nostalgic? I live in a studio apartment, and my kitchen is a simple L-shaped corner of the 700 square feet of my dwelling. This is my first time living alone. My kitchen doesn’t make me think of beauty or art or pride. However, I took a closer look and created a Mug Shot that has great meaning for me. The coffee mug was a Christmas gift from my housemates who live on the other side of the wall. They welcomed me to Oregon with this amazing opportunity to live deep in the woods on family-owned property going back generations. The backdrop is a painting done by my daughter-in-law, who is the most creative and inspirational cook I know. Her smoked/marinated/grilled/sauced/garnished dishes show layers and layers of cultural influence and bold experimentation. The cutting board was also a gift from a family member. It is wooden and incredibly useful, and I’m really glad to have it. So, in my kitchen, I find I am supported by friends and family, which is comforting because otherwise I might simply stand alone eating ingredients over the kitchen sink.

My heritage…

I grew up in awe of my mother’s mastery at cooking and serving gourmet meals. She created grand, formal dinners at my father’s request. I was not permitted to help in any truly participatory fashion. I could do small tasks. For family dinners, I could make a salad. When she was making a pie, I could pray that the top crust could be lifted and placed perfectly without cracking. My mother called this pie-praying. I was not allowed to touch. I was the youngest of four daughters, and I know her culinary skills were handed down to my oldest sister. As the mother of four of my own, I know that sometimes it’s just easier to do it yourself. I do not harbor any ill-will about this chapter of a complex family history. It’s just a fascinating scenario. We are all influenced by such basic stories.

The photo above shows a demitasse cup and saucer that I took before the sale of my mother’s estate as a small reminder of the dining room china – 12 settings, decorated in platinum. My mother collected several different sets of china, thinking that each of her four daughters would need one. However, life and lifestyles have changed. Her grandchildren have absolutely no desire to own china. Lace tablecloths fill the drawers of the curio cabinet I inherited from my mother-in-law. And I sit alone at my grandmother’s cherry dining table as I type this. Two leaves are hidden below the tabletop. There could be 8-10 people around it…and there have been at times, years ago.

But my everyday life is not lace and china and silver. It’s Douglas Fir trees and hiking boots and granola in a dish from the dollar store.

And that is my inspiration and my cup of tea right now.

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Lens-Artists Photo Challenge: Spiritual Sites

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“Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground.” – Exodus 3:5, NIV

Sand art – a labyrinth? a mandala? – at Nye Beach, Oregon

Tina leads the challenge this week with an amazing array of Spiritual Sites from around the world. Spirituality is truly universal. I went to a workshop at the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship here, and we tried to come up with a definition of spirituality. What we landed on was “the dynamic of being in the process of being in relationship and being aware of it”…or at least that’s what I wrote in my notes. For me, that just means that I am trying to be aware that I am in relationship to EVERYTHING, and I want continually to try to make these relationships more harmonious and mutually beneficial. At the top of my awareness is my family relationships. That’s where I began my spiritual journey, as an infant. Ancestors and family members are often honored at spiritual sites. There is a church in California where I was married and where my sister, my husband, and my parents are buried. It is a very meaningful place to me.

From an early point in my spiritual journey, I was also aware of the sacredness of Nature. Since 2014, I have been particularly aware of my relationship with Wilderness.

“A wilderness, in contrast with those areas where man and his own works dominate the landscape, is hereby recognized as an area where the earth and its community of life are untrammeled by man, where man himself is a visitor who does not remain.” 
– The Wilderness Act of 1964

(Gallery top left to bottom right: Headwaters Wilderness, WI; Black Canyon of the Gunnison Wilderness, CO; Guadalupe Escarpment Wilderness sign, TX; Sturgeon River Gorge Wilderness, MI; Sage Creek Wilderness, Badlands, SD; Ojito Wilderness, NM; Drift Creek Wilderness, OR.)

The first overnight backpacking trip I did in wilderness was at Strawberry Mountain in eastern Oregon. After two nights camping in the wilderness, we reached the summit. I was immensely happy! The relationship I had formed with my hiking friends, with the alpine lakes and trees, with mountain goats and wildflowers, and with my own mind and body, made me feel the energy of being alive and dynamic in the world in a gloriously spiritual way. I sat down in the lotus position on holy ground…and my friend snapped this photo:

May you reverence your connections to your inner and out worlds and find peace, love, and joy in your spiritual journey.

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Lens-Artists Photo Challenge: My Photo Groove

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For me, photography is a precious, sentimental hobby with its origins in a love story. It allows me to delight in the moments of my life and savor them over time.

When I was in high school, I envied friends who were taking photography classes. Their images were so artfully composed and memorable. My boyfriend (who later became my husband) bought me a Canon AE1 for Christmas after we’d been dating a year. My mother wasn’t sure it would be wise for me to accept such an expensive gift at the tender age of 17, but I was absolutely sure this was the perfect gift, and the perfect giver. I really enjoyed taking pictures of my loved ones and the memories we’d made, and kept them close to me when I moved away to college.

When Jim and I married and had our four ridiculously photogenic children, I was the one taking pictures and chronicling our family’s growth and adventures with the very camera he’d bought me that Christmas.

Two years after my 47-year old husband died and our children had left the nest, the mechanism on my Canon that advanced the film jammed. I decided that for my 50th birthday, I would buy a digital camera…another Canon.

At this point, I fell in love with photographing a new subject – Nature. My new and current groove is all about what is out-of-doors.

Of course, I’m still the family photographer and thrill at the opportunity to capture special moments with my favorite humans.

In two weeks, I will be celebrating my 60th birthday. I think I deserve another milestone present in my photography story. I’m thinking that I will either get an 18-300mm lens for my Canon, or a small, tough, travel camera like the Olympus I borrowed and took backpacking last month.

Thanks for listening to my groovy photo story, and thanks, Anne (our host) for asking! I look forward to seeing what other Lens-Artists are exploring with their art.

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Lens-Artists Photo Challenge: The Eyes Have It

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“An animal’s eyes have the power to speak a great language.”
― Martin Buber

“The face is a picture of the mind with the eyes as its interpreter.”
― Marcus Tullius Cicero

Tina, our Challenge host for this week, reminds us that in photography, the most successful portraits focus on the eyes. She shares stunning examples HERE and invites us to post our favorite eye-catching photos. There is an intimacy in photographing the eyes of a living being that tells a story – a story not only of the subject’s mindset, but also of the relationship between subject and photographer. That is why it is so satisfying to have recorded images of these special beings who have captivated me with their expressions and allowed me to gaze at their souls. I am grateful to have known them all!

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Lens-Artists Photo Challenge: They Say It’s Your Birthday…

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…It’s my birthday, too!

In my family, we have clusters of birthdays in August and in late March/early April. It provides the opportunity to get several households together at one time for a joint party. I love it when we’re all crowded into the kitchen, cooking together, sipping something, laughing, and singing. We tend to break into song for no particular reason. We also love to dance, and we happen to have a music producer/DJ in the family, so dance parties with a house bass beat add to the celebration. I’ve been taking photos of birthdays for more than 30 years now. The difference is that my kids don’t want to have their faces in these photos anymore. Still, I have enough material to offer a gallery of birthday ambience and celebration. I hope you enjoy it!

Here’s a birthday photo I didn’t take. It’s my third birthday, and I’m at my grandmother’s beach cottage on Lake Michigan. At that age, the most important part of the day was that I got to eat chocolate cake! (Some things haven’t changed much…)

Our host for this photo challenge party is Johnbo. Visit his site HERE.