I fell asleep next to the open window, listening to the deep, distant rumble of thunder. The sky flashed like paparazzi bulbs in the south. Finally, finally, after 4 weeks of drought, the rain came all the way down to earth. In the morning, it hung in the air like a smothering wet blanket. I dreamed that I was sitting in the bottom of a sleeping bag, zippering the top over my head. My sinuses were heavy, and I couldn’t open my eyes. My body felt a sea change that I had anticipated since yesterday when my temper flared unexpectedly at a chaperone scolding a young child. Tension gave way; I sank to the bottom. I could feel Steve beside me like the earth feels the sky when it finally comes down in a shower of healing touch.
In 33 more days, I will turn 50 years old. I feel more connected to nature than I ever have. I am more aware of my nature, physically, mentally, and spiritually, and more aware of the Universe around me. I am more aware of my partner and my children. I feel peaceful and mature, young and ancient at the same time. I feel good. Really good. I am in love with my life…at last.