With apologies to Dr. Seuss for stealing most of his title, I am reminded of taking my kids for a tour of my neighborhood on Christmas afternoon. I love just walking outside with a camera, or even without, and simply noticing all the absurdity of life. There’s some weird stuff out there! The most bizarre neighborhood sighting appeared the week before Christmas. I was walking to the market to buy groceries, when around the corner and very fast, a white car approached with something pinkish sticking up out of its roof. I thought maybe it was some helium balloons. It got closer and slowed down, and I realized that it was a large, inflated, vinyl doll with enormous balloon boobs rising from the sun roof of the compact car. I was too mesmerized by the plastic flesh to look at the driver’s face, but he was slowing down right near me. I wondered if this was a threat. Suddenly, I heard a man’s voice growl “AAAaaarrrrrrgh!” and the car pulled into the driveway that I was just crossing. I walked on, blinking, and supposed that he was voicing some kind of frustration at having been delayed entry onto his property. Of course, my thoughts then went spinning into all kinds of fiction scenarios that would create a plausible story to go along with the encounter. An embarrassing office gag gift? A desperately horny bachelor? Who knows. I shake my head and smile.
Then there’s the lady with the fur coat and the Cocker Spaniel. She saw me & Steve and my four guests approaching and once more issued her warning, “He’ll jump on you!!” We waved. We’d been warned before. Up the street from her is a pair of garden lions sizing up their concrete casing.
Does this make me look fat?
Further south, I found this friendly front door.
And close to the park, this possum in the road.
Not just playing
Down by the railroad tracks, we found a pile of rusty spikes. Steve pocketed one as a souvenir for our “museum”.
Like looking for a needle...
He was going to pick up another souvenir, but he found it hard to lift.
Another neighbor had this parking meter in his driveway. Do you suppose there’s any money in it?
Usually the ducks on the pond swim away when I approach. This time, they made straight for us. I think they were hoping we’d brought bread crumbs. I felt bad that we’d eaten two ducks the night before and didn’t offer anything to the survivors.
So, while I’m hiking around trying to burn off my holiday calories, I look around for visual treats. Eye candy is non-fattening.