Last Day of the Year

I started this blog 365 days ago.  Today is the last day that I can claim to be “in my 40s”. 

“What have you learned, Dorothy?”  “I’ve learned that if I ever go looking for my heart’s desire again, I won’t look any further than my own backyard.  ‘Cuz if it isn’t there, I never really lost it to begin with.  Is that right?”

Umm…not exactly. My initial post said,”this blog is dubbed scillagrace to symbolize ancient elegance of manner, action, form, motion and moral strength.  It is my goal to post entries worthy of the name.  It is my goal to avoid being dogmatic and prissy.  I want to challenge myself to go deeper into subjects that explore the ancient grace of life.   It is a lot of name and a lot of subject, to be sure.  We’ll see how it goes.”

Did I go deeper?  Did I go beyond my own backyard?  Here are my top ten Most Used categories: Awareness.  Photography. Philosophy.  Nature.  Relationships.  Writing.  Psychology.  Sociology.  Education.  Spirituality.  I have 200 followers, but the most “likes” I’ve ever gotten on any post is 24.  Which I suppose goes to show that you can’t please all of the people.  Not even once.  But statistics don’t tell the story.  Numbers have no meaning; it’s the narrative that goes along with them, the interpretation, that gives any statistical information its significance. 

Here is an ancient grace of life: deepening a relationship.  I have made new friends in far away places through this blog.  I have re-connected with people I haven’t seen for some time.  I have bonded with my mother in a new way, and I’ve even come to know myself better.  That will probably remain the enduring value of this blog.  I have grown up this year, and I hope to continue to do so as I go on aging. 

Last year…

I am planning to continue to blog, but probably not as often.  I am planning to get a new camera for myself and to spend more time writing.  I will be going on a 3-week adventure in October when I end my season as a living history museum interpreter.   There will be more change, more grace and, hopefully, greater awareness to come.

17 thoughts on “Last Day of the Year

  1. Wonderful….and good luck, I wish you many safe and beautiful travels! And Happy Birthday, welcome to 50! I am passing on to 60 and have just one thought, before you go…we all dig “deeper” each day….but growing up has two sides to it. Sometimes it can mean we give up everything and become “self-sacrificing”. At 50 I still felt pressured to perform. At 60….I warn…don’t give up the child in you so easily….embrace her….nurture her and be kind to her. If you deny her, she will only rebel one day, let her be “free to be”. It is only with in the last year that I have found my inner child again, that carefree little girl that was squelched; the one who asked to take your picture. She is sometimes too inquisitive, impulsive and self-indulgent….but she is the truest form of me. It is her instincts that have gotten me past my blackest days. It is through her that I can truly find and be “blissful”. Without her I am only a shell of myself. I guess you could say I am trying to return to childhood…. to be free of expectations, of societies norms. In that way we might be polar opposites. I no longer want to grow up and my camera is something that allows me the freedom to be that little girl once again….freedom to view things in a new and unrestricted way. And if you could look through the lens back through the camera and into me you would see my soul. Again, its just a thought…and it comes from “her”.

    • My “4-year old” is always with me and teaches me a lot about letting experience inform me. Growing up for me is now more about questioning the stories and facts I adopted without taking the responsibility of looking to my own experience. Being inquisitive is a good way to keep from getting dogmatic and stuck in habit, which seems to be a more surface way of living.

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  2. Well said Carol…

    Dearest Scilla,
    What a find you have been. We have not only never met but have never even spoken to each other and yet we have shared much. I have watched you grow, witnessed your dark days and your most joyful ones as you have bared your heart and soul with exceptional honesty and wit..
    You have a most wonderful imagination which I witness often in the comments you leave on my blogs.
    It has been such a pleasure sharing the blogosphere with you.
    I hope you will not grow tired of blogging altogether as I look forward to your wisdom.
    Sending love from thousands of miles away and wishing you the happiest of Birthdays.
    Helen x
    ps.. why haven’t you got that camera yet!!

    • Dear Helen, Thank you so much for your kind and palpable affection! I feel your hugs despite all our distances. I am looking forward to getting that camera, but finding time off is the trick here! Soon… Love, Priscilla

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  3. Dear Scilla,
    This too is a lovely piece of writing. I am so glad to be one of those lucky bloggers who found you over the course of this last year, and always feel wiser or somehow moved after reading one of your posts.

    I am so glad you decided to get that camera! Have you decided where you are going to go for your three weeks? Wherever it is, I wish you a safe journey there and back again.

    Warmly,
    Naomi

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